I hear it all the time.
“My dog bit out of nowhere—he’s aggressive.”
“He was barking and lunging like a maniac for no reason.”
“She knows she shouldn’t do it, but she still does it—she looks guilty afterwards!”
In that moment, your dog stops being your best friend and starts feeling like an adversary. Maybe you think he wanted to hurt you. Maybe it even feels premeditated. He broke your trust. He’s unpredictable, uncontrollable… and then there’s my personal favourite: dominant.
And just like that, the world is full of advice.
“You need to show him who’s boss.”
“She’s doing it to get back at you for leaving her alone.”
“You have to punish him so he learns.”
Corrections, collar pops, pinning to the floor, sprays, shocks—humans have come up with plenty of ways to tell a dog they’re wrong. But here’s the thing: none of that helps if we’re getting the story wrong in the first place.
Words Matter: How Labels Limit Change
Words shape how we see the world. They influence how we feel, how we act, and the decisions we make.
“My dog is aggressive.”
“She is dominant.”
“He is guilty.”
When we use labels like these, we make our dog’s behaviour feel permanent. Fixed. Unchangeable.
But behaviour isn’t a personality trait—it’s an action, and actions can change.
Imagine if someone told you that you are shy. Not just sometimes quiet, but fundamentally, permanently shy. That label sticks. It changes how people see you, how they treat you, and even how you see yourself.
I know this because for years, my mum called me shy. And sure, in some situations, I might hang back and observe before jumping in. But am I always shy? No. I’ve given presentations, led training workshops, and stood in front of rooms full of people. I even travelled alone as a teenager for work experience and to an RAF selection centre. Does that sound like someone inherently shy?
Of course not.
But when we label our dogs—“aggressive,” “anxious,” “dominant”—we assume they are that way rather than recognising the specific situations that trigger certain behaviours. And that limits both our thinking and their ability to change.
Behaviour is Not Who Your Dog Is—It’s What They Do
Instead of asking who your dog is, ask what they do.
- When does your dog growl, bark, or lunge?
- What’s happening around them in that moment?
- How often does it happen, and what happens before and after?
Once we stop seeing behaviour as a fixed label and start looking at patterns, we can actually do something about it.
Labels can be useful as a shortcut for describing behaviour—saying “my dog is reactive” is quicker than saying “he barks, growls, and lunges on walks.” But they should never be used without a when.
- My dog growls when a stranger reaches for him.
- She barks and lunges when other dogs get too close.
- He paces and whines when left alone for too long.
See the difference? Now we have information we can work with.
Because here’s the good news: behaviour is changeable.
How to Change Your Dog’s Behaviour (Without Punishment)
When we stop seeing our dog as the ‘bad guy,’ we open the door to real change. Instead of reacting with frustration or punishment, we can take a step back, look at what’s actually happening, and use science-backed methods to help our dogs succeed.
The best way to change behaviour isn’t through force or fear—it’s through understanding, consistency, and reinforcement of the right behaviours.
Because you and your dog aren’t opponents. You’re a team.
Identify the Triggers and Motivation
Dogs don’t behave in a vacuum. There’s always a reason behind their actions—whether it’s fear, frustration, excitement, or confusion. Instead of asking, “Why is my dog like this?”, ask:
- What is happening when my dog behaves this way?
- What’s triggering this response?
- What is my dog trying to achieve?
For example, a dog that growls when approached while eating isn’t being “dominant”—they’re likely feeling protective of their food. A dog that lunges at others on a walk may feel anxious or overwhelmed.
Once you understand the why, you can begin to change the how.
Set Your Dog Up for Success
A dog that constantly struggles is a dog that isn’t set up to win. Instead of pushing them into situations where they will fail, change the environment to make learning easier.
- Manage Their Triggers: If your dog reacts to strangers, start training at a distance where they feel safe before moving closer.
- Give Them Choices: Let your dog choose to move away from something scary instead of forcing them into a situation they can’t handle.
- Build Reliable Cues: Teach alternative behaviours (e.g. “Look at that” instead of lunging at another dog).
When your dog has the chance to practise the right behaviour, they get better at it. If they only get to practise the wrong behaviour, that’s what they’ll get better at instead.
Reinforce the Behaviours You Want to See
Dogs learn best when they are rewarded for doing the right thing. This is the foundation of positive reinforcement training, which has been proven to be more effective, humane, and long-lasting than punishment-based methods.
Use Rewards to Strengthen Desired Behaviour
- Find what motivates your dog—this could be treats, toys, praise, or play.
- Reward your dog immediately when they make the right choice.
- Reinforce small steps towards the behaviour you want.
Example: If your dog usually barks at other dogs, start rewarding them for simply looking at another dog without reacting. Gradually build up to walking past calmly.
Use Markers for Clarity
- A clicker or a verbal marker (“Yes!” or “Good!”) tells your dog exactly what they did right.
- This speeds up learning because your dog knows which action earned the reward.
Why Punishment-Based Training Doesn’t Work
Many people still believe in using aversive methods like prong collars, shock collars, leash corrections, or even intimidation-based dominance training. While these might stop a behaviour in the short term, they cause more harm than good.
Punishment Increases Fear and Anxiety
- A dog that is punished for growling may learn to stop growling—but that doesn’t mean they feel safe.
- Instead of expressing their discomfort, they may go straight to biting next time.
Punishment Damages Your Relationship
- If your dog learns that you are the source of fear or pain, they will lose trust in you.
- Training should build cooperation, not conflict between you and your dog.
Punishment Doesn’t Teach What To Do Instead
- If a dog is shocked or corrected for barking, they don’t learn what to do instead.
- Instead of suppressing behaviour, focus on redirecting it in a positive way.
Example: Instead of punishing a dog for jumping up, drop treats to the floor as soon as they approach. Dogs can’t jump up if their head is down sniffing for treats. This prevents the unwanted behaviour and gives you the opportunity to reinforce your preferred greeting style.
Be Patient, Be Consistent, and Get Support
Behaviour change takes time. It’s not about finding a “quick fix” but creating lasting change through understanding and trust.
- Keep sessions short and fun—dogs learn best when training is enjoyable.
- Be consistent—if your dog gets rewarded sometimes but ignored other times, they’ll get confused.
- Seek help—if you feel stuck, working with a qualified professional can make all the difference.
The goal isn’t just to “fix” behaviour. The goal is to build a stronger relationship with your dog—one based on trust, teamwork, and clear communication.
Let’s Get You and Your Dog Back on the Same Team
If you’re tired of the frustration, let’s change that today.
Get In Touch and take the first step towards a better relationship with your dog.